The Chig Rebuttal Page

[Captured Transmission 2/2064]

The Dimension Security Society
Bids you

You are red stink creature # Counter

Thank you!

We are pleased that you, like millions of other citizens and their property, are interested in learning the facts about our first encounters with the new species. There has been talk--too much talk--about trying to make peace with this species. We believe this is a treacherous desire by some of the weaker members of our society.

For the first time, you will be able to learn the sordid truth about these creatures we are fighting. Don't be deceived by the those who advocate compromise. These creatures are our enemies and any type of compromise would result in the destruction of life as we know it.

Red Stink Creatures

redstinkcreature While we of course call them "Red Stink Creatures", named that due to how foul their red blood smells to us, the enemy calls itself "Earthlings". This name is derived from the name of their home world, which is a naming convention that our species at one point used to describe ourselves before we became more experienced in space travel.

Unlike on our worlds where diversity has thankfully been stomped out, the Red Stink Creatures are actually divided into two, conflicting classes of beings. Those who are fighting us call themselves "Humans". The other class, the "Fake Brains", has actually been our ally in this struggle.

The "Humans"

Of course we've been monitoring these Humans for a long time. We have not been pleased with what we've seen but many of our previous leaders weakly figured that these creatures would destroy themselves over time. We are a peaceful race, of course. Why unleash our weapons against a puny race when they will self-destruct?

The argument made some sense but it turned out that our leaders were completely and tragically incorrect in their projections. These leaders have of course been dealt with accordingly.

The "Fake Brains"

FAKEBRAIN! Opposing the Humans are another class of beings who have somehow been mechanically created. (The very notion of this makes our campaign against the Red Stink Creatures even more imperative. What sort of life would actually take something precious like life and try to duplicate it as a mechanical entity?) These mechanical beings call themselves a name which roughly translates as "Fake Brains". The Fake Brains have been very helpful to us.

First warnings

It was, in fact, the Fake Brains that alerted us to the Red Stink Creatures plans for colonizing our home worlds. Keep in mind that prior to receiving this information, our leaders tolerated isolated contacts with the Red Stink Creatures. The Red Stink Creatures have probed our worlds for years for commercial purposes and we would have let that continue were it not for meeting the Fake Brains and hearing their stories.

The Fake Brains, despite being created by the Red Stink Creatures, were in fact hunted down by the Red Stink Creatures. Of course, in our world, parents will periodically destroy their children and vice versa but of course that's for the stream-lining of the race. In the world of the Earthlings, they destroyed each other simply because they did not like each other.

When the Fake Brains probed our defenses and sent a signal alerting us to this, we decided to open talks with them. The Fake Brains have told us much about the Red Stink Creatures. Not only the Red Stink Creatures physical characteristics, the location of their home planet, and the basic organizational lay-out of their encampments, the Fake Brains have told us the horrible truth about these Red Stink Creatures.

These stories include fairly detailed Human plans for the exploration, exploitation, and then enslavement of all of our worlds. We cannot repeat these stories here for public safety reasons.

In Glass creatures

[Image] Invitro Authority The Fake Brains also told us about yet another life creation of the Red Stink Creatures called, roughly, "In Glass". The Red Stink Creatures have created over time not only the Fake Brains, but they also created entities who grow to maturity, believe it or not, in artificial tubes made of a clear substance called "glass" which are, in turned, filled with liquid. Then, after having created these beings, the Red Stink Creatures immediately put the beings into menial roles.

The Fake Brains have also explained to us that the Red Stink Creatures are capturing our civilians in order to break our protoplasmic seals. The Red Stink Creatures are actually using our internal life fluids to grow a stronger, more intelligent breed of In Glass creatures!

Think about this! We are a proud race! We honor our dead and these Red Stink Creatures defile them. What sort of civilization (if we can call it that) would actually desecrate another entity's physical being, not for information's sake like we do, but purely to advance their own cause? This abomination precludes ever speaking with the enemy! They must be destroyed!

True communication? Never!

We, of course, will not tell the Red Stink Creatures of our decision. There are a number of Red Stink Creatures who are actually communicating with us, trying to make peace with us. One of their major business enterprises, in fact, makes weapons against us while it simultaneously trades for our technology through secret channels. Not to worry. They have received nothing of value from us.

But of course we know from the Fake Brains what the Red Stink Creatures' true intentions are and mutual coexistance is clearly out of the question. We continue the talks, however, in case they lead us to learn any other aspects about the Red Stink Creatures that allow us to destroy them easier.

Human equipment


On many of the planets on which we've encountered the Red Stink Creatures, they have not had to wear protective armor like we have. In fact, they almost never wear the same outside gear at all. Just as we hail the unity of having all of our warriors wear the same armor, Red Stink Creatures deliberately wear different clothing to promote their sense of difference.

Military transports

[Image] The Red Stink Creatures have several mechanical craft that allow them to get around in our worlds. The largest of these is shown here. These massive structures contain huge cities, but, more importantly, they hold enemy fighter planes. We continue to target these structures whenever we can.

The Tool Tops

[Image] This is the image of the primary Human flying craft. The Fake Brains tell us that this is called something akin to "Tool Tops". We of course recognize them as related to some of the flat parasites that inhabit several of our less developed worlds.

Unlike our mechanical devices, which are of course activated by our own chemical reactions, Red Stink Creatures pilot their vehicles by pressing little stubs called buttons. Our scientists were initially baffled by these buttons and several lost their lives discovering the secrets of how they operated.

Our principal defenders

Our civilization is being defended by thought and dead by every one of our patriotic citizens. It is also being defended physically by our military.

Commissar Dregggge

Commissar Dregggge led the first attack on the Human colony at Vesta. This attack was carried out by our forces without any loss of life. Unfortunately, it was not the warning that we hoped it would be and it has not caused the Red Stink Creatures to back away. Just the opposite in fact.

Commissar Stuuean

Commissar Stuuean had led many attacks on the Red Stink Creatures including the famous battles of the Energy Factory and several secret operations within the enemy home planets.

Commissar Szuchhtt

Commissar Szuchhtt was in charge of the interrogation facility on Kazbeck. Some of the members of the enemy's infamous 58th Marine unit was interred at this facility some time ago. Unfortunately, a mass assault on our limited defenses on that planet led to the escape of these prisoners. Of course, Commissar Szuchhtt was summarily executed afterward.

Commissar Richaaaven

Commissar Richaaaven was behind the team that introduced the new X-fighter. This craft eludes enemy radar and has led to impressive kill ratios. This craft, as well as Commissar Richaaaven, were destroyed in combat by, again, the enemy's 58th Marine unit. Of course, we are planning to massively produce more of these X-fighters and they should be in the air shortly.

And you?

Picture yourself in this image! There is so much you can contribute in the fight against the Red Stink Creatures! We need fighters! We need machinists! We need money? If you are already lame, we need volunteers for medical experiments! There is a role for you in this battle! How would you feel if our way of life was destroyed and you knew that you did not give absolutely everything you could have given to save it?

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